"There is No Way I Am Rearranging My Life for My Kids" (Famous Last Words)

Before I was a mum, I had a lot of opinions about motherhood.

One of them was this absolute gem: "There is no way I am going to rearrange my whole life for my kids."

Oh, how I cringe now.

If those mums around me back then could have heard what I was thinking, they would have been laughing behind my back. And honestly? Fair enough.

I Didn't Know Any Better, and That's Okay

Back then, I just didn't know any better. I hadn't lived it yet.

But I'll be honest, there's a small part of me that still feels a bit ashamed of that old mindset. Because judging each other is the last thing any of us mums need. We're all doing this without a map.

And that's kind of the point of this whole post.

Nothing Prepares You for Actually Having Kids

You can read every book, listen to every podcast, absorb every piece of advice from every mum in your life. None of it comes close to actually having kids.

It's a mother's instinct to want to sacrifice for her children. It comes with the job description, whether anyone warns you about it or not. And I don't think that instinct is a bad thing at all.

But here's what I've learned the hard way: sacrifice without balance is a fast track to burnout.

Why I Said Yes to the Three Hour Road Trip

Last weekend, my son decided he wanted to spend the day getting his favourite treat, a chocolate dipped frozen banana from a chocolate factory. A three hour round trip, just for a treat.

Who am I to deny him that, if I'm actually able to make it happen?

So we drove. We listened to our favourite music. He got his banana. It was a good day.

And it's a day I was fully present for, because I also make sure I build in time for myself, whenever I can. Not instead of showing up for my kids, alongside it.

Because unlike when I first became a mum, I now recognise the signs when I'm stretching myself too thin. I recognise what my body is telling me, before I'm running on empty.

I pick it up before I get anywhere near burnout and complete overwhelm.

So How Do I Actually Know?

This is the bit I get asked about the most.

It all started when I began my studies in art therapy and learned how to properly connect with my body through creative expression. Not the "let's discuss your feelings" kind of connection. The kind where you actually notice what's happening in your body before your mind has even caught up.

And here's the part that surprises people every time: you don't have to be creative to do this. Not one little bit.

You just have to be willing to slow down long enough to notice.

That's the whole secret. Noticing early, instead of pushing through until you hit the wall.

Much love

Tanya x

If you're a mum who wants to learn how to notice the signs before you hit overwhelm, and build in the kind of balance that actually works in real life, send me an email and let's chat about what that could look like for you.